Dear Mr. Zuckerberg:
Thank you for your Friend Request.
I must respectfully decline
due to the unfortunate circumstance
that I am dead –
which limits my social network greatly.
In the interest of updating my Timeline,
it appears, good sir, that I died of poisoning
from my own invention.
The alloy of led, tin and antimony took its toll.
So sad when one’s own creation
plants the seeds of his demise.
You have said, “Move fast and break things.
Unless you are breaking stuff,
you are not moving fast enough.”
I too felt the urge to break things –
to break the silence,
to break the barriers to truth.
It was I, after all, who said,
Let us break the seal
which seals up holy things,
and give wings to Truth
in order that she may win every soul
that comes into the world by her word
no longer written at great expense
by hands easily palsied,
but multiplied like the wind
by an untiring machine.
That very wind can scatter seeds
to take root and grow,
or whirl out of control.
But I am sure, Friend,
that you are aware of such risks.
And so, I leave you, good sir,
with my most sincere good wishes—
to Like or not, as you see fit.
Your most humble Friend,